Otherkin and Transgenderism

A while ago, a friend of mine vlogged about misanthropy, identifying humanity as something so depraved and decadent that it can only do harm, while also admitting that he was part of the problem. However, he acknowledged only that he was part of the same race that causes the problem, not that he was in any way responsible for it. But at the same time, he was seized with a terrible guilt and impotence at how powerless he was to escape it.

In his mind, he was cursed with a self-hatred, in the sense that he despises his own race and feels trapped by it. I should clarify, this person identifies as an Otherkin. This is still quite a taboo and misunderstood topic that people love to jump all over, and I've been saddened in recent weeks to see people who I admire make arguments that seem to tear down other people for identifying as such, however I have a good few friends who identify as Otherkin, and more than a few Transgender friends as well, and in my mind they are very much in the same situation.

You can debate about how a person can know they are a different species in their head, what that means, whether it can be regarded as psychologically valid, how it works or whatever... but those same debates have been happening for decades about transgender people. Thus I've been particularly surprised to see certain popular members of the Youtube transgender community expressing their disapproval at being equated by their critics to furies and Otherkin (which are not the same thing by the way) as though this were a truly offensive reduction.

I find this sad. If a person feels trapped in their own body, that's valid. It doesn't NEED to be valid to anyone but them, and as long as they feel those emotions truly, it IS valid. For someone who knows exactly what that feels like, and who likely has to cope with a great deal of prejudice directed at them for it on a daily basis, I would expect a higher level of understanding about how painful this can be.

With that same sentiment in mind, hearing my Otherkin friend lament his distaste for his own humanity and how terrible his born species is compared to what he aspires to be, I was reminded of another, far more touchy conversation I once had with a transgender friend a long time ago. This friend of mine had said to me that she will never be a "real" woman, she will always have to carry the title of trans and would never quite be genuine. There was such a defeatist tone to what she was saying, or perhaps a fear of hope. I found this level of self-contempt to be appaling and distressing.

I explained to her that being born without breasts and the right plumbing does not make her any less a woman than a natural born woman who loses those body parts in a terrible accident. I explained that there is nothing inherently fake about her just because she was, for all intents and purposes, born with a genetic condition that gave her the wrong body, which in my opinion is the better way of looking at it. Unfortunately, she wouldn't listen to me. Maybe her opinion is more valid than mine, I can't know without being trasngendered myself. But I can imagine that living with the title of "fake" hanging over your head your whole life must be extremely depressing, and I simply don't agree that it belongs there.

So when I saw this Otherkin friend of mine, hating his humanity just as my other friend had resigned herself to being a less valid version of what she wanted to be based on how she was born, I felt compelled to say something about it. I'm sure I would have his permission in sharing what I said to him with you, as it gave me a much needed opportunity to get some thoughts off my chest that had been bouncing around in my head for a long time. This is what I said, and I'm not just speaking to him... but to all people:


Humanity has a very precious, special gift, one that comes with a tremendous burden. You might call it a blessing with a curse. We're self aware, introspective. We're capable of intelligent reasoning, curiosity, deduction - the ability to look at this world and want to know more about it.

And when you give something the ability to question, the first thing it will question is itself.

Think about that, just allow yourself to simmer over the incredible, monumental consequences of this simple gift. We're given the hands which can create or destroy as a god, and tongues to convey our thoughts, and yet seemingly there is no purpose for either. so we use our hands to dig our way to the truth, our tongues to forever question why - and never do we get an answer.

The consequence of having this born enlightenment is that we are capable of questioning the negative as well as the positive, and it is an unfortunate fact of nature that pain leaves scars while pleasure is fleeting. We're forever locked in this mentality of fixating on what has happened to us and why, and all that ever sticks with us is the bad.

This traps us in a downward spiral of depression and yes, selfishness too. We're forced to be introspective, selfish by default but this is not a bad thing. In nature morality doesn't even exist, and the only loyalty is that which continues your own species, so selfishness is not in and of itself a purely bad thing. It just means that your self is your primary concern, and when you are locked in your own thoughts as we are, this is inevitable.

The problem is it brings out the worst in us because deep down we're not all that much more evolved than lesser animals. It is, as I have said many times in the past, as though we happened across the tools of god, and had no understanding of how to use them.

The same primitive, primal, feral nature which so many bleeding heart spiritualists revere in the comparative harmony of animals, is what drives humanity to such madness. We have these natural, predatory beasts forever raging against the cages of our minds. Our sense of social warmth and conscience which so many people seem to believe does not exist is what forces us to bottle this up to hide it from everyone else.

So take a guess as to what happens when you try to throw the beast in a cage? I think you know all too well, we’ve all been there. Now intensify that by thousands of years of intensive oppression with no outlet, and apply it to the sheer scale of a global conscience and you have some idea of the effects it must have on society. This insidious bestial nature begins to seep through the cracks in civilized culture with venomous results, festering in the heart of every good deed.

We seek outlets such as religion, politics, business, even sport as a means to allow those predators some exercise without feeling ashamed, applying ourselves ignorantly to doctrinal obsessions that allow us to justify the rage we try so hard to unnaturally burry. It is, in fact, our eternal struggle to be good that forces us to burry this dark side and forces it to worm its way back out through our actions.

To put it another way, negativity feeds negativity. The self-loathing and insecurity which we are all plagued with, you included, me included, is the result of this feral fury turned inwards, the septic animal organ imploded and rotting our souls to the core because we try so hard to rise above it. And with every blow our egos take as a result, we fall down another level.

Every bruise stays with us forever, every kiss forgotten the moment it leaves our lips. The animal within only knows how to howl in pain because it has been cursed with this self-awareness and then given no direction, forcing it to wonder alone in the cold with its first emotion being the agony of birth into a dangerous and scary world of sheer powerlessness - a true original sin that taints the rest of its life.

The scars lead to resentment, the resentment causes habit, the habit governs what is perceived as truth. This downward spiral continues faster and faster, the negativity we feel doubling back on itself eternally - an ironic double helix of resentment both inward and outward that permeates the very fabric of this species and corrupts it from within.

But... just as sure as there is this self-perpetuating negativity everywhere, so too is there proof of the good in humanity.

After all, is it not true that nearly 7 billion people walk the earth this very moment? That's 7 billion individual lives, many if not most of whom may be suffering, yes, but seven BILLION nonetheless. And how did they get here? A union of love. Albeit sometimes rape, and often frivolous, nevertheless is there any better way to enter this world than through love?

Seven billion people, and how did they get here? How are they still here? Because someone cared for them.

Unlike the admirable power of the deer which walks mere moments after birth, or the resilient crocodile, unlike the cannibalistic mammals that practise sibling rivalry, the wily fish spawn that flee for their lives moments after birth or the determined terrapin that battles heroically to reach the water - unlike all of them, human babies are born helpless, powerless.

We fall out of our mothers as little more than soft balls of noisy meat on a string with absolutely no way to protect ourselves, no way to feed ourselves, very little in the way of survival instincts and zero physical strength. And yet... seven billion people, seven BILLION are alive today, right now, because someone cared for them. Someone protected them.

Seven billion testaments to the virtues of humanity, the good inside all of us. for while we may not be the best mothers and fathers, while we may fail as parents, sometimes horribly, sometimes in less obvious ways, while we are all imperfect guides and mentors we do, as a general rule, at least *try*. For at one time or another, all seven billion of us had to have been cared for by at least one other person.

Then, consider how people pull together during times of crisis. The earthquake in Haiti, the rebuilding efforts in New Orleans, the ongoing cleanup after the Tsunami, hell even the war in Iraq, while initiated dishonestly and carried out abominably, was only green lit because people had the best of intentions at heart. Thousands of people are out there elbow deep in filth and broken glass trying to help other people for no other reason than they choose to be.

Think of all the doctors and nurses, the carers and teachers, counsellors, therapists, police, firemen and social workers - the people who could have chosen any job but they all chose to do one that involves taking on other people burdens, putting up with the stress that other people deal with while the rest of us can barely handle our own. These are the people I have the most respect for, and they are the crucial backbone of any society without which it would fall apart.

There is proof everywhere you look of the ongoing good in humanity, you just have to see it with fresh eyes. To shrug off the habits of focussing on the lingering pains in order to gain new appreciation for the things you take for granted every day. Consider how far we've come from just a couple of centuries ago.

We remember every bruise, and forget every kiss, but each play an important factor in building up who we are as individuals. And if you are someone who can see the flaws in how we do things, then humanity needs YOU to help us fix them. Because it is only when those who can, do, that anything gets done. Every individual has that power.

Remember, negativity feeds negativity. Nothing constructive ever came from just hating the way things are, by simply resenting humanity you are only contributing to the choking climate that keeps them mentally subdued and fixated on failure. You're not superior, nor are you inferior, because what you see is the same as what we all see, and it's not going to change until we all start doing something about it.

We are above the animals, insomuch as we have the potential to take life a step further and make this world shine. Nature gave us that gift, the gift to understand what we do wrong, to question, and ultimately, to do. So my advice to you is, don't just hate the madness you see, to do so is to waste that beautiful gift and to squander it in the same way as those you hate. Use your power, be selfish, save your own race.





Bringing this back to the original topic for a moment, I would like to add that while making peace with the being you were born as is very important, there is no reason to abandon the being you feel you are inside. I think this sense of isolation from one's true self is something we can all relate to in one sense or another. We all want to be something... rich, heroic, popular... loved. We don't always get that chance. It is important we can still look in the mirror and love the person we see... but never stop chasing your dreams either.

Dreams like that are what add new flavours to the mix of life, creating new experiences and points of view, an entire new substance in the make-up of the human experience that will bring more enjoyment of life to the next generation. There is no need to shy away from something just because it is different... if we haven't learned that by now, we never will. Don't be afraid of your dreams, no matter how strange. They are what keeps the world turning.

All the best, my friends.